How’d We End Up Here?

7 Dec

So you’re probably wondering how’d we end up here? Meaning, what led us to adoption?

That’s en excellent question and a difficult one to answer!

We’ve always talked about having kids – wondering whose eyes they’d get, if they’d be a trouble maker like Mike growing up, or a bookworm like me? We’ve dreamed of filling the remaining three bedrooms in our home with giggling children, covering our walls with hand-made art, and filling our schedules full of after-school activities. It was frustrating when it wasn’t happening naturally (particularly as all the testing out there couldn’t tell us why!), but absolutely heartbreaking when even IVF (in vitro fertilization) failed. When we did finally happen to get pregnant with the help of Chinese medicine and acupuncture, we were utterly devastated to find out it was an ectopic pregnancy. I received two methotrexate injections but still had emergency surgery when my Fallopian tube ruptured at what would’ve been 8 weeks along. We tried on our own awhile longer while we sorted out feelings and finances. But truthfully the idea of getting pregnant again was a bit scary after all of that!

We realized that while pregnancy would’ve been awesome, it’s only 9 months out of our life. What we wanted was a bigger family and that did NOT require a growing belly. We talked a lot about our options – more fertility treatments with immune testing, donor egg/embryo, foster to adopt, and international or private domestic adoption. Throughout our conversations, we’ve come to appreciate that it is not biology and genes that make a family strong. We have no biological ties to one another and are as strong as they come. Love, compassion, a willingness to learn from one another are things that make a family and we’ve got a whole lot of that over here! In the end, private domestic adoption just felt right for us.

This 4+ year journey has been a whirlwind but we’ve created this unbreakable bond and managed to find the silver linings through it all. Personally, I’ve grown so much during this time. I’ve learned to have more compassion, be more open minded (hello – I’m a pharmacist practicing western medicine, but I credit Chinese herbs and acupuncture to getting me pregnant!), and cherish the little things in life even more than I already did. We’ve also grown as a couple and are more confident than ever that we are ready to share our lives with a child. We can’t wait to see life through our child’s eyes and help them understand the world we live in. I’ve also had the joy of watching Mike interact with our nephews and all of our friends’ kids these last several years and I know he’s going to be one kick-ass dad.

Whenever, however it happens we will be ready to open our hearts, arms, and home to our child and give them all the love, encouragement, and happiness we can offer.


5 Responses to “How’d We End Up Here?”


  1. How Do You Measure a Year? | Baby Steps - February 20, 2016

    […] of course, things did not go according to plan. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about our sweet baby. Some days, the thoughts are […]

  2. National Infertility Awareness Week | Baby Steps - April 27, 2016

    […] sharing our plans to adopt an infant in November, I opened up a little bit about our journey to grow our family. National Infertility Awareness Week started April 24, so I thought I’d […]

  3. How’d We End Up Here: Part II (AKA The Very Long Version) | Baby Steps - May 9, 2016

    […] week a couple of weeks ago now, it’s NIAW. So in honor of that I’m going to share the very long version of our struggles(and I don’t say very long for no reason… this is a warning, you should probably go to […]

  4. From Razorback to Badger | Baby Steps - September 11, 2016

    […] all heard about the path that brought us to adoption (short version and long version) and how we chose the type of adoption to pursue, but very few people know about […]

  5. NIAW 2017 | Baby Steps - April 24, 2017

    […] Week. You heard all about our struggles with infertility last year – both the long and short version to the story. Most of you know that despite trying just about everything western medicine […]

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