Our First

14 May

For five years, I spent Mother’s Day wondering how much longer I would have to wait before my sweet child entered my life, wondering what I did wrong to be cursed with infertility, wondering if this was Mother Nature’s way of declaring me an unfit mother. Needless to say, the last few years have been incredibly difficult.

Finally (FINALLY!!!), I can stop wondering. Every day for the last 262 days,  I have felt my heart swell with so much love. Love to see my son (it still feels surreal to call him that!) smile the sweetest smile, laugh with his mouth wide open, blow the wettest raspberries. Love to see my husband become DAD – to see the two of them interacting is literally my favorite thing. Love to finally be at the happy ending of the longest, hardest journey I hope to ever go through.

I feel incredibly fortunate to be a #boymom, to be THIS boy’s mom.

To my son –

You made me a momma. My heart healed the instant you entered it. Being your mom is an enormous privilege and my most favorite adventure.

Seeing the magic and joy in your eyes as you start to explore the world around you makes my heart so happy. I have so many hopes for you – I hope you grow to be kind and compassionate, honest and loving, funny and smart. I hope you learn how to be a team player, to be generous, to value hard work, to appreciate the little things in life. Most of all, I hope you always know how honored I am to have you to love.

I am so grateful to B (your other mom) for keeping you safe the first 9 months of your existence and for choosing me to be your mom. She is an incredibly strong, wonderful woman who loves you with all her heart. She loved you so much, that she gave a part of her heart to me. I will never be able to thank her enough for making my heart whole.

I love you, my sweet boy. You are my favorite piece to every day. 

– Your momma

 

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